Posted on by mizunderstoodpoet87

Broken Pieces

Fucking you didn’t help me find myself

Marrying you didn’t help me feel whole

Loving you didn’t take away my pain

Trying to find feelings in fucking is always a dangerous combination

Yet I scream with my fist raised that I’m deeper that just meaningless sex

But somewhere between orgasms and I do’s I discovered that giving pieces of myself always doesn’t make me whole

It makes me stupid

Stupid to think that healing is between my thighs

Stupid to think that I could heal you from your pain with my love

Stupid to think you’d pick me when I’ve never picked myself

Stupid to think giving pieces of myself away would result in a whole soul

Is in here empty

Void of all emotions

Asking God for healing

Because the reality is….

I’m broken

All the walls I’ve built have been destroyed

A perfect foundation to rebuild myself

This journey has just begun…

Posted on by mizunderstoodpoet87

If the sheets could talk

If the sheet could talk

They would speak of the multiple orgasms that were made here

Somewhere between maturbatory admission and climaxes we found utopia

If the sheets could talk

They would speak of the way our bodies entwined each other for hours on end

How there isn’t an inch of skin on your body that I have licked, sucked or kissed

If the sheets could talk

They would speak of the multiple languages I’ve learned when my fountain is being drank from

Water over flowing everywhere

If the sheets could talk

They would speak of the multiple times you begged me to stop and I would continue on inch by inch

Of us covered in perspiration of climaxes and us sticking to each other’s skin

If the sheets could talk

They would speak of how you always took your time

Always eager to please but never in a rush

Walls then coated in my screams of your name backwards and forwards

Of me running from the pounding that is sure to have me beating my high score

Of fantasies fulfilled

Our bodies at peace with the work we’ve done

Until the next time our flesh calls out for each other and lust is to much to bare

If the sheets could talk……

Posted on by mizunderstoodpoet87

Journey

I am on a journey

A journey not just of self discovery but of healing

The little girl inside of me as ached for far to long

I have attempted to bandage her with relationships, career aspirations and money

I’ve attempted to quiet her cries as I sleep at night

The truth is she needs to be healed and affirmed for me to free

You can only take a deaf ear to her cries so many times before it starts to manifest itself in your everyday life

And even though Lord my heart has cracks, bandages, and has patches sewn on it to be whole it is here

Knowing that only your grace be mercy mixed with times perfect recipe can be the ones to heal my pain

To be whole? I have never thought of such an idea because it seemed unreachable

And this journey has never been about me, it has always been about her….

Posted on by mizunderstoodpoet87 · 1 Comment

Fall

Can I free fall?

Off anything I’ve ever known to be true about love

Can I love the pieces of your soul?

Your soul the place where your heart flourishes and all the pieces of you dwell

Can I jump without a parachute?

Feel my heart racing to the bottom because I know what’s there

I want the love I have for you in all the small pieces of my being to cry your name loudly for the love I feel for you

Passionately kiss me

Make love to me as if the world has stopped

Let’s lay in bed all day talking about your dreams and I can cover you in kisses

I’m falling hard

But I don’t want to fall on my face

Trying to bellow out words that my lips can’t form to….

I’m falling in love with you

That easy and that complicated

That moving yet that still

Here’s my heart and if you’d just hear me out

So that I can feel as if I’m falling again but into your arms

Butterflies enter into my stomach when you look my way

Take me

Love me

Cherish me

The way I love and cherish you

Take my hand

Can we fall together?

Can we talk?

Can I tell you what a complicated melody you are?

Fortress of solitude and it is my main objective to get to the core of who you are?

May I kiss you?

Kiss away pain, mistakes, failures and hardships?

When we make love I feel as if the world has stopped

In between breaths and long deep strokes

Eyes rolling in the back of my head and the only thing that comes out are love noises

Passionate, raw and real

Can I wake up to you each morning?

In the middle of your complications as a man let me rebuild those spots and help you push forward

May I carry your last name?

As we take a journey to forever

Deeper than love

More important than respect

Our love is metaphysical in all its layers

Take my heart for safe keeping

And in return I want yours so I can tuck it away safely and I promise it won’t be abused

I love you deeply

I adore you spiritually

I long for you physically

Come now so that our love can stop time

I’m ready ♥️

Posted on by mizunderstoodpoet87

Honey Comb King

To my honey comb king dripped in liquid gold

Your hair spouts from your head wildly as your smile is sunshine to my day

Your existence bright like the sun is the humectant to my panties as you kiss me in uncharted territories

Pull me into your ocean because I can swim and drown me into uncharted waters of your heart, emotions, feelings, wants and desires.

Can I taste you? Fresh honey on my biscuit, fresh honey in my tea, fresh honey in my hair, fresh honey on my skin

Honey comb king planted like an oak tree in the deepest of woods

Wisdom beyond stupidity

Balance beyond common sense

Let me place my hand to your heart

Now breathe

Deeply and let the pain out

I can carry the heavy stuff

Breathe

I can handle the emotional things

Breathe

Posted on by mizunderstoodpoet87

Turning Bodies

I remember the smell of his skin

The taste of his lips

The residue of sin left on my skin by sweat from orgasms past

I’ve turned another body

Lost a piece of my soul in between loud screaming and sweating

Now I lay here going over the details of what it means to truly have someone love me

Of what it meant to feel important to someone…. ANYONE

Remembering love and the faint memories it has left on my heart

Romance…. passion….fire

Now all I do is turn over bodies

For pieces of my soul hoping to find intimacy somewhere in the dirtiness of my sheets

Touching, feeling deep in myself trying to find “her”

She is laid out somewhere 6 feet under in a casket named broken hearted wearing scarlet and bleeding crimson

Wishing that once again she could be alive…. loved….whole

But now I wear black

In an alley with multiple names on my walls written with semen, sweat and blood

Not even multiple Ajax washings can make it clean

For my journal of masturbatory admissions is now a Hall of Fame

Yet none are famous

How long will I search?

Turning over rocks of broken hearts

The smell of lust on his skin is all that keeps invading my memories

Knowing he will never wear the title husband

I turn off my mind and hand over my prize for another peasant

Because I am not worthy enough to have love because my soul is empty

I’m just a woman wearing black with patches of “Him” piecing me together

Longing for those pieces to make me whole

Until I realize that he’s next to me

Holding me hostage with his arms and legs

And I remember another body turned

And I’m just another hole made wet with no feelings left over

Leaving my calling card on his mirror written in red lipstick…

“Be seeing you….”

Posted on by mizunderstoodpoet87

Addicted

I’m addicted to you

I should be in rehab with how you make me feel

All the blood rushes as soon as I hear you say my name

Can we repopulate the earth?

With small people who look like you and I?

Their little heart captivating mines

Can I love the pieces of you that you think are unloveable?

The pieces that you hide in dark places at night in fear of never healing

I’m addicted to you

The way the sun perfectly has caramelized your skin

The way your locs are now a mane

I remember when you were a teenager

Young with so much life in your eyes

Time has aged you like fine wine

I’m addicted to the way you talk in the car when you pick me up in the morning

The way you go on and on about your life philosophies and thoughts

I long to know what your lips taste like

How to touch the intimate parts of your manhood

Trymar I’m addicted to you……

Posted on by mizunderstoodpoet87

Unrequited

I love you

No but really I love you

Deeply…. passionately…. selflessly

Agape me

Because I breathe you in

Because I can feel your force

Life is full of unrequited feelings

Some from Mommy

Some from Daddy

Some from friends

Some from lovers

Here’s my heart ripped from chest and put into your hands

Please take care of it

But there it goes on the floor

There they go stepping on it

Here comes the conditions to receive my love back

Love in vows

Love in pain

Love in loyalty

Love is hurting

Your love has contracts

Bullet points

Rules and regulations

When my love is an ocean

Deep, dark and meaningful

But I love you

I agape you

But you have unrequited me back

Now there’s a hole where there was once a heart

You can’t tell me anymore stories

I love you’s

I’m here for you

Love me back

Go get my heart from those who you let abuse it

You tell me trust you how can I?

My heart hurts

I’m sorry where my heart used to live hurts

Now it’s just a hole

Empty

Dark

Unrequited

Posted on by mizunderstoodpoet87

Common Denominator

I got friend zoned

But I’m married

I mean I’m separated

I gave vowels in front of our families and God

Only to sleep in my car

I fell in love with a boy

Who’s manhood was no where to be found

I’m married but not in love

I got friend zone by the man who is my air

“Needy” and “annoying” are the actives he used to describe me

Can you see my heart?

Here on my sleeve!

No more walls but emotional boundaries are needed

I was married and now I’m not

I was friend zoned and now I’m hurt

I was stupid in love and now I’m not

My heart is tucked away safe in hiding

Until healing is the common denominator for my life

Posted on by mizunderstoodpoet87

Uneventfully Beautiful

“I’m just not that into you….”

He said sadly with dragging breaths between his words

“You’re just not my type….”

The open ended manner of that statement left pieces of my soul dead

“I can be her…” I thought to myself, the woman you dream of daily

Can I nurse your heart back to health?

But my beauty is unconventional and unlike many others and the statement

“Not pretty enough” often invades my mind, why can I just look like someone else?

God when your paint brush was forming what I look like why did you make me ugly?

Ordinary?

Uneventfully not beautiful…..

What would that feel like? 

To have men fawn on me daily?

My DMs stay on full?

Instead I’m a nerd who just gets laughed at

The not good enough, always behind, never ever able to be “the one” 

My conventional corniness will never get me the dream guy

Never the sweet guy

Never the thoughtful guy

Never the consistent guy

Beauty gets you those things right?

I get sex

Left overs

Read but never responded to text messages

Tons of orgasums but never flowers

Never commitment 

Never happily ever after

They say that beauty fades well I’m jealous

I want beauty now

Because internal beauty has never gotten me anywhere but hurt