Unconventional

Is my womb lifeless?

Is it broken?

I’ve often wondered why my body is unable to produce life

If my vagina is a black hole where things go in and nothing comes out?

I see the girls he looks at and the way he talks about them

He doesn’t talk about me like that

I’m not even a consideration where it comes time to put in a bid for his heart

Why I am not beautiful?

I often wish to ask God when he was passing out beauty why was I overlooked?

We say things like beauty is within etc but who actually believes that shit?

When my personality could be bomb but my confidence is non existent

Then even when a woman is deemed not “beautiful” can be confident and still talked about wrongly

I wish to one day have the confidence of Lizzo

Because no matter what she said fuck your norms

Why am I not normal?

The hardest part is being an artist trapped in a societal box

Do they not see me?

Art flows through my veins and out my mouth in living color yet I envy them

The ordinary

The “okay”

The status quo

Why is my womb not enough

Why is my beauty not enough

Why is my heart not enough

Why is my existence through art not enough

And who deemed you correct to judge me on the standards of beauty?

But don’t call on us when the women you fantasize about don’t want you

Tell you that your brand of love as a man isn’t good enough

In that moment you’ll remember me….. us the ones you reject

As not good enough

As friend zoned

As simply just unconventional

Then its remembered that you didn’t think I would sell

To your friends

To your lifestyle

Am I not worthy?

I often wonder

Either way I’ll free myself from this box

If you need me I’ll be painted in the sky

Never again to be seen from

Lifeless womb

Broken artist

And completely unconventional