Fucking you didn’t help me find myself

Marrying you didn’t help me feel whole

Loving you didn’t take away my pain

Trying to find feelings in fucking is always a dangerous combination

Yet I scream with my fist raised that I’m deeper that just meaningless sex

But somewhere between orgasms and I do’s I discovered that giving pieces of myself always doesn’t make me whole

It makes me stupid

Stupid to think that healing is between my thighs

Stupid to think that I could heal you from your pain with my love

Stupid to think you’d pick me when I’ve never picked myself

Stupid to think giving pieces of myself away would result in a whole soul

Is in here empty

Void of all emotions

Asking God for healing

Because the reality is….

I’m broken

All the walls I’ve built have been destroyed

A perfect foundation to rebuild myself

This journey has just begun…